Given that I can’t get decent pictures at the moment, it’s a picture free posting today. So this is the perfect opportunity to rant about the stupid things that beauty companies do that make me want to come after them with sharp implements so they never do it again.
1) Conditioner sachets you can’t open without scissors.
This is one that seriously pisses me off. It particularly applies to the conditioners you get in hair dyes. See, when I’m in the shower and rinsing off my dye I don’t want to have to hunt out scissors. I’m wet, I‘m dripping red like Janet Leigh in Psycho, I’m already panicking because I’ve managed to turn my ear an unnatural colour and know my other half is going to shout at me because I’ve dripped dye onto the bathroom floor again… I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO HUNT OUT SCISSORS! It’s not hard to put a tearable notch in the sachet. It’s not hard to put it in a nice little bottle. Putting my conditioner in a sachet that I can’t even open with my teeth is almost criminal.
WORST OFFENDERS- Nice and Easy and Boots.
2) Foundation colour ranges
I know this is a common peeve but I have to add my tuppence to it as well. I am in Britain. We have a great share of pasty pale people, made even more so because of our lack of sunshine. We are a multi-cultural nation, with a spectrum of gorgeous skin shades. So why, I ask myself, are most high street foundations designed to suit the oompa loompa skin of the perma-fake tanned? Darker skins are ignored, yellow toned skins are ignored, and your palest shades will make me look like a woman-gerine. Not all of us fall into the Katie Price school of beauty, ok?
WORST OFFENDERS- Rimmel, Boots brands, Collection 2000, Max Factor
3) High street pricing as High-end
I’ve noticed this particularly with mascaras and foundations. I am not going to pay nearly £20 for something that is regularly available in every single Boots and Superdrug and I’m sure isn’t worth the money. I can pay just over £20 and get something from a high-end brand that is more likely to be fabulous and gives me that added bit of warmth when I take it out of my makeup bag. You’re pricing yourself out of the market. So stop the silly prices. If brands like Maybelline can keep their fantastic mascaras below the £10 mark, I’m sure you can too.
WORST OFFENDERS- Max Factor, No7,
4) Relaunching an old colour in new packaging every few months
Just because you’ve put a flower on the tube and given it a lovely thematic name, don’t expect me to buy it. I didn’t like it the first time- you can tell because I didn’t buy it. I’m not going to buy the same lipstick twice just to make sure I have the full collection. I’m not going to like your glitter bomb eyeshadow, no matter how many palettes you put it in. I’m not going to believe your foundation works any better because you’ve changed the name to something more scientific- I read your ingredients and I’m not stupid.
WORST OFFENDERS- MAC, Urban Decay, Revlon
5) Palettes with cream and powder products in the same case
Who told you this was a good idea, beauty companies? You see, powder sheds and it goes into the gloss/cream shadow and that makes it unusable and messy. I know it seems like a good idea; you get an all-round product. Sadly, it’s not practical. Do what companies like NYX do and have a little pull out drawer so they are kept separate. Cos you are losing money from people like me who refuse to buy something they know will turn into an ugly waste of money.
WORST OFFENDERS- Too Faced, No7, The Balm, Stila, Dior
I’ve stuck with only five to rant about because they are the things that make me violent. However, dishonourable mentions must go to sunscreen sprays that you can’t push down when you have greasy hands, ‘styled with lash inserts and enhanced in post-production’ adverts, product displays without testers and celebrity endorsed products that cost more even though the formulation in the same as the regular range (Kate Moss for Rimmel being a prime example).
I’m sure there are more but I’m all ranted out now. Anything you hate? Do you agree with me or am I raving away like a lunatic for no reason?